I have just devoured platefuls of plane food. Lukewarm perspiring chicken plonked in greasy matrimony with something green broiled beyond recognition. Every soggy mouthful a deliverance (context later). Serge and I are recovering from the first leg of the trip celebrating our marriage. So as I enjoyed the uniquely pungent cocktail that microwaved food and toilet fumes create in an enclosed space, my thoughts turned to the preceding week. In many ways, on paper, Cuba was what we expected. A rainbow of sunshine, vivid architecture and vintage cars. However, postcard expectations are slippery things.

Havana is vision of once glorious architecture and pre-revolutionary monuments. The flamboyantly coloured neo-classical buildings are marked with the history of neglect. Houses once splendid claimed by nature; corroded by the salt and winds blowing in from the ocean. A city fatigued by poverty. A beautiful ruin. Here buildings regularly collapse into rubble – something that Cubans refer to as derrumbe. Living space is tight. Cubans live cheek by jowl, multiple generations and families crowded into the smallest of one bedroom apartments. No running water, intermittent electricity and poor sanitation.

 

 

 

The streets teem with people. It’s little surprise given the squalor indoors and mind-fogging heat. So they just hang, with nowhere to go and nowhere to be. People hawking cigars and cheese. Young men crouched staring at passers by. Old prostitutes as derelict as the buildings they lean against. It’s hard to believe that this is “the Triunfo” which in Cuba refers to the Triumph of the Revolution in 1959.

 

 

The backdrop is wealthy American tourists in their white linen shirts, panamas and thousand dollar cameras. They are everywhere, sipping rum in the bars and hanging out of old American cars, which steadily splutter along.

I organise the transport. My husband buries his face in his hands as our steed arrives. A bubblegum pink Buick convertible worthy of Dolly Parton. So off we go, me and my surly Russian in his novelty cowboy hat. Everyone is curious about where we are from. In Cuba, our responses elicit a rare and welcome reversal of sentiment. Serge being Russian isn’t treated like an unfortunate affliction or greeted with dumb ignorant questions about Russian politics. Instead it’s my accent and British upbringing that are regarded with cool indifference.

Capitalism seems to be trickling in slowly, around the fraying edges of the system. There is a robust black economy with people earning on the economic fringes of what is permissible. The government led by Raul Castro has of late been experimenting with socio-economic reform and now allows fledgling commerce. Having exhausted all touristic possibility we left Havana for the gorgeous beach resort of Varadero. On the beach we matched the enthusiasm of an enterprising local on his offer of all you can drink. The next morning was a shit show.

Accommodation

I reserve a paragraph for our accommodation. The Saratoga. Consensus awards it the accolade of Havana’s best hotel. There’s a category of people who pay for pain and humiliation. Staying at the Saratoga I joined this privileged elite. Walls wet with humidity and damp. Strange and mysterious odours. Stained pillows and duvets. Showers caked with the scale of bodily detritus; pubes and toenails in the plughole. I’m afraid it’s just too traumatic for me to continue. Pool was nice though.

Context

I hope you like rice. If you do, I hope you like it with lentils; for breakfast, lunch and dinner. For the locals, this is their reality. Our guide explained that food shortages mean that ordinary Cubans do not enjoy much else. Even basic ingredients like flour are all but impossible to get hold of. Beef and milk are scarce (it is a criminal offence to slaughter a cow without special permission) and the country’s plentiful seafood is all exported or fed to tourists.

The state owned restaurants are purveyors of starchy stodge and tinned vegetables. A better option is one of the paladars, private restaurants in people’s homes. We managed to get a reservation at Havana’s premier paladar, Dona Eutimia, a small homely restaurant serving traditional Cuban fare. The food was definitely better than elsewhere, but it didn’t give me that Meg Ryan moment. From all the places we went, the only one I would recommend is El Litoral which delivered pleasure befitting its name.

Before you go

Now, if you’re still with me, to the more mundane aspects of tourism in Cuba. The first thing you need to know is that Cuba may well be the most romanticised destination there is. For some (like me), this will make disappointment an inevitability. Also, allow me correct the misconception that Cuba is cheap – it is anything but. More importantly the hospitality standards are abysmal. So if you are after some winter sun, romance, a beach holiday or anything that involves getting away from it all – I counsel you not to come here. You would be better off going anywhere else. Havana is interesting for a few days as a historical/cultural destination (although I can think of better); but you will need a good guide – self-censorship means you won’t necessarily get the full picture. Finally, Havana is many things. Most of them you would have expected. But it is the experience of those expectations that’s so unexpected. Get me? Maybe, just maybe, if you have been there, you’ll know what I mean. p.s. the credit for the photos looking snazzier than usual goes to Serge!

Thank you 🙂








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17 comments

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Ahh I'm so sad you didn't love Havana! I went last year and it more than lived up to my expectations, but I already knew about the poverty and problems so went in with a very open mind. I'm also now very happy we didn't stay at the Saratoga, we looked at it but saw quite a few negative reviews similar to yours, so we stayed at a Casa Particular for a few nights (one of my favourite experiences from the trip!) and then the Melia Habana, which was gorgeous!

We were also quite disappointed by Dona Eutimia, we found the nearby Paladar Los Mercadares far better, some of the best food I've ever eaten – their lobster was just insanely good! We did actually find Cuba very cheap though, however maybe it's changed since last year :/ Take a look at my cuba blog posts if interested 🙂

C x

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Hia – I've never commented before but thought I'd pop by. Really enjoyed this review, your writing style is very engaging. I have recently dipped my toe into blogging (heaven knows why as I started a training contract in the city 6 months ago and am working obscenely hard (I'm also an ex BBP-er!)).

Keep writing!

http://iwillwritewithit.blogspot.co.uk/

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Hi! I have to say that I've loved your post. I'm glad that someone tells the reality behind those postcard perfect pictures. As superficial as I might be, I feel terrible when I travel to a country where I imagine all the hard times people in the world suffer while I enjoy my mojito unaware of what happens behind the hotel fence.
xx,
E.
http://www.theslowpace.com

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These are beautiful photos and you've managed to make it look so appealing. I totally agree re food and accomodation, it was woeful at best – try Mexico next time x

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Well yeah, postcard expectations sure are slippery things until reality hits you hard. Cuba is somewhat amazing when you think about it, essentially a place left behind by time and development. A vivid architecture and vintage cars like how you wrote it – but that’s just about it, nothing exciting and lively I guess.

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Great post, very real and descriptive, even the building looks a bit in ruins I think the place, in general, offers a nostalgic and romantic view. That traditional food looks good as well.

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In my perspective, your review about Cuba is somehow more realistic than other blogs that I’ve read. I mean you gave us realistic info that there is a scarcity of food. And if we are not ok with eating the basic foos that Cuban are eating then it’s not for us. Some never told that info so I’m glad you did. Now I don’t know of I’m going to be ready for Cuba. LOL!!

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What kind of a Buffalo is that? I have not seen that type of animal before specially with those horns. Anyway, Cuba seems to be a nice place. I would not mind visiting it at all.

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Very nice pictures. Too bad, you didn’t like Havana. It’s great to know your experience about the place. But I still would want to visit that place someday.

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I love rice and lentils. Cuban food agrees with me. It might not be to everyone’s liking, but what dishes are?

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Visiting somewhere poor is always complicated, but looking at your photos I can see you still managed to get the most of your experience, which is great. Maybe now that they are getting more tourists and money, some things can start to change (although the shortages don’t seem any close to be solved). I agree that it should be above all a cultural destination.

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I’m loving your reviews! I really like how you put those wonderful memories and adventures into words. I hope you write more reviews on your travels.

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I haven’t really thought about travelling to Cuba. Upon reading your review, I have now added it to my bucket list, especially the food.

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The photos look amazing, the animals and the architecture. reading your review though i cant think of any real reason i would want to go. my dream get away would be a nice quite place with food options and some water to relax in(probably a hot tub would be good) cuba was missing the food option and sounds very loud

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Great insight into Cuba. I sure didn’t know that the locals mainly on ear lentils. Hope that reality will change for them soon. BTW what is the name of that animal in the picture with those big ole horns?

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