As a January baby, I turn up early to everything. Punctuality is a compulsion, as is leaving for the airport three hours early. And whilst the early bird might get the worm, the funds in my bank account get the wormhole, every time I fly. The Chanel in Heathrow Terminal 5 is the big killer.
Instead of catering to little fat men from Guangzhou (who are they and what do they shop for?) – their buyer invariably seems to choose the best of the season. A praiseworthy feat, given that Chanel is always a bland regurgitation of the same old bouclé and buttons, an emerging world abstraction of European refinement. There’s always of course a twist – for the press and the women who take fashion as seriously as I take Homeland, Janan Ganesh, blogging and pizza Sundays. Karl’s twist for the Chanel Spring Summer 2018 campaign happens to be transparent PVC.
Which is why I reached for my credit card as soon as I clapped eyes on the transparent Chanel tote for SS 18. The bag’s tinted panels are trimmed with soft pastel green, pink and blue leather. The quilted exterior looks through onto an accomplished composition of nifty interior pockets in the signature Chanel caviar with compartments for your phone and your Yen (no doubt the target currency) .
Obviously I handled this sartorial confection with only the reverence that the world’s greatest beach bag deserves. And nearly dropped it when I heard the price. £2850. And whilst I normally can’t put a price on shiny plastic, this occasion was different. I just couldn’t bear to denigrate this decent tote with a destiny no more exalted than that of the humble beach towel. But if you happen to be flying out of T5 anytime soon and pick up the beauty – don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.