Extract – Hurt Me by Hanushka Toni

The cure for pain is in the pain – Rumi   We left Azerbaijan when I was five and with it the childhood of my youth. Transposed from a crumbling post-Soviet country to a benign world of pink petunias, tits on page three and birdsong on the platform; my parents felt like they had well … Continue Reading

How To Save the World in 24 Ways – Part I

Setting aside an afternoon of free time to buy and mix the ingredients to create environmentally friendly, non-toxic cleaning product substitutes is a noble pursuit. But it requires a particular type of person. Those with a laudable, singular commitment to the well-being of the environment, nascent terrorists and the bereaved. But between environmental zeal and … Continue Reading

Margy’s Monte Carlo – The Monaco Facial that Transformed my Skin.

Now, when it comes to facials I’m not easily impressed. My teenage years are evoked by the peppery aroma of tea-tree and eucalyptus. And holiday visits to Azeri skin care clinics with dubious hygiene standards but stellar results. East of the Iron Curtain, they know a thing or two about decontaminating faces and popping comedones … Continue Reading

Las Vegas – Beyond the Lights in Naked City

Somehow we’ve ended up beyond the lights and the slot machines. On a side street in the desolate district of Naked City. The low-rent apartments this side of town were once populated by showgirls. They sunbathed naked in the courtyards, before fluttering to the Strip and their fleeting existence of rhinestones, feathers and wealthy patrons. … Continue Reading

Review – Alex Steinherr for Primark Beauty Skincare Range

Take one look at my shelfie and you’d be forgiven for taking me for a beauty influencer. Indeed, I bear all the classic hallmarks. For starters, I spend copious amounts of time zooming into my pores in the magnifying mirror. I double cleanse, own a jade roller and gua-sha my face with a rose quartz … Continue Reading

In Bloom – Lavender Season in Gordes, Provence

I am knee deep in Lavandula x intermedia as chubby bumble bees buzz around my ankles. Not one to OM and namaste, I shriek at my photographer to hurry up. An expletive is uttered and the cherubesque family down the field shoot me a look of opprobrium before continuing with their own Sylvanian-families style photoshoot. … Continue Reading

Your stomach will thank me – La Chaumiere, Nice

If you’re sensible, sensitive or particularly frugal, you should never agree to a dinner with me. This is especially the case if you’re imagined lactose intolerant, a pescatarian or fastidiously discard the anchovies from your Ceaser (live a little), because whilst I can’t guarantee the food, I can guarantee you a miserable time. I am … Continue Reading

Venice in a Weekend – Magic in Santa Croce

Venice is best seen from the water, in the half-light of an early morning or a fading day. There’s nothing quite like sailing the silence, past Gothic palazzos of shadowy rooms and magnificent chandeliers. As far as cities go, it’s a fly trapped in resin, with virtually no architectural development in modern times. A fourteenth … Continue Reading

Getting Romantico: Review, Aman Grand Canal Venice, Italy – Papadopoli Palace

We were in Venice for a wedding and since there’s nothing like riding on the coat-tails of someone else’s romance we decided to extend our trip, with a stay at the Aman Resort Venice and the Gritti Palace. Whilst I ordinarily abhor the concept of ‘romantic getaways’ – red roses make me queasy and candlelit … Continue Reading

The One Pair of Shoes you Need in Your Life – the Gucci Marmont Shoe

The Mum Shoe Living in an individualistic society, encourages the very modern preoccupation with our own ‘uniqueness’. Be that as it may, there are certain things that come to define us. For me those things are: I’m a mum; an armrest hogger; a ladysplainer and a midget. Only two of the above are relevant to … Continue Reading